Surprisingly meditation has been one of the few habits I have successfully picked up this year and I eventually found myself at a meditation retreat. I don’t know what I expected but it was certainly different. After a few weeks I think I have come up with a few take aways.

I think I expected more from the retreat initially, some great enlightenment, a moment of insight. This did not happen but it did give me an opportunity to reflect and see that was an unrealistic expectation. There was no guru who was going to magically let me get further. If I want to make progress it will take work and time. Which is wonderful because the other option seems like how cults start. Although I do listen to a lot of what Henry Shukman says and place value in it, the retreat offered a chance to see him as a real person. Again silly to expect anything else but it’s comforting to see that the people we can sometimes put above ourselves are just people.

The retreat also offered a diversity of atendees and opinions that I am not normally exposed to. When was the last time you sat in a room for 6 hours with ~100 people all different ages and backgrounds and you didn’t know anyone? I don’t think I have ever done something like this before. It opened my eyes to an overwhelming lack of confidence and social anxieties I thought I had made more progress in. Although my hesitancy my fellow retreat atendees were kind and welcoming and offered different perspectives and shared knowledge that I did not know and hadn’t considered. It was nice to come into a new environment and be able to learn from everyone.

Personally the most enlighting thought shared in the retreat was about responses to emotions and your attitude towards them. You don’t have to stop feeling emotions you can learn to stop minding them. It is ok to be anxious in situations as it is a reasonable response. But just because you feel a certain emotion doesn’t mean it is negative and doesn’t mean you have to do anything, you can be indifferent and not mind feeling it. Sometimes just acknowledging emotions make them easier to handle and allows you to have more control over them.